“What I Know For Sure”

I finished reading Oprah’s book, “What I know for Sure,” and it gave me plenty of head nodding moments and plenty of inspiration. So, It got me thinking, what do I know for sure or what have I realised since Matthew passed away?

What I know for sure:

  1. Soul Mates exist. Plain and simple, they exists. Soul mates are not just romantic relationships. Soul mates take on many forms, best friends, a brother, a sister, and so on. Trying to describe the way this person makes you feel is difficult because words are so limiting and wouldn’t do the relationship justice to try. Flaws are rarely an issue because soul mates are open to accepting each other for who they truly are. You feel a sense of security with this person, a deep ever lasting bond because you know they will forever protect your heart.
  2. We are eternal, therefore our love is eternal. True love never dies, it lives in on in our energy.
  3. My view on what is truly important in life has changed, drastically. There is a solution for everything, it is a matter of changing how you look at the situation. What use to cause me problems before like putting something together wrong and having to re-do it, is now a moment where I take a deep breath and try again. After experiencing the death of my husband and constantly learning how to manage my grief, makes everything that seemed like a big deal, now seem so small in comparison.
  4. The clichés we see and read daily are true. “Carpe Diem.” “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.” “Do it now. The future is promised to no one.” “Be You.” All of these and so many more have new meaning for me. How could I not acknowledge their truth when I have experienced one of the most devastating events anyone can endure? My whole existence and the meaning behind it has changed. I have changed. I can testify to the truth that I am still here and I am so much stronger than before.
  5. Expressing love, gratitude, appreciation, empathy, happiness and all the other bright colours of the emotional rainbow become more powerful and meaningful. No longer can I sit idly by if there is something in my way that I do not agree with. No longer can I let a day pass where I don’t tell someone what they mean to me. Finding my true voice and living out what is in my heart has become two of the most powerful qualities I have gained since losing Matthew.
  6. Grief affects everyone around me. I am not the only one who has lost Matthew, so many others have been disturbed by his death. Some show their grief more than others but we are all left with the aftermath of learning how to navigate this world; hopefully having our eyes open to how precious and short life can truly be. Talking about death can be tricky and difficult for most of us. We need to be aware that everyone will grieve differently and at different times. What matters most is showing love, compassion and empathy during those painful moments.
  7. Constant support from friends and family make all the difference in the world to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. If I didn’t have the consistent outpouring of love from friends and family near and far, I believe I wouldn’t be able to feel as strong and determined as I do today. Don’t put me on a timeline and don’t expect me to be anything other than what I am today. I am not the Kristina I was 9 months ago and that Kristina will never come back. Knowing that I can develop and grow in the way I see fit because I have so much encouragement and love around me is something I am beyond thankful for.

As time progresses, I know I will be able to add more to this list. Feeling the change in my heart and mind has been a blessing even though it came with so much pain. These are my truths and what I know for sure is that my view on the world has changed. I will continue to actively take part in becoming all that I am meant to be. It will be a tough journey and at times I know I will feel like I am going backwards, but in those moments I will grow stronger. What I know for sure, I am still here and my time here will no longer be wasted. What I know for sure, I will always love my soul mate, Matthew.


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